What little girls are like sometimes

Little girls are persistent and know what they want, and when daddy tells them "No,"  they storm out of the room stomping their feet with a furrow in their brow, little arms crossed tightly around their chest as the indignation rises.  Then say things like, "Oh yes I will" and, " You can't make me!", and " I, AM !" and such.  But when you don't give in, when you stand your ground because you, after all, know what is best, they eventually forget about being mad and hurt and frustrated and they love you again.  They love you because that is what they long to do.  They know and feel your consistent love and guidance underneath,  so they have a deep inner trust that they can keep leaning back into whether they realize it or not. This is what makes them able to love you, deeply and without question, even when you don't make sense, even when you contradict yourself, even when you are unfair or too distracted to really pay attention to them.   Little girls will love you even when they know, that what you said, or did, was not coming from place of love, in that moment, because they sense that you are tired, and stressed and worn out and that you are scared too sometimes.  They see you and they understand and then they keep loving the best way they can and as much as you will let them.  

Sometimes, when little girls feel really strong in themselves, they can come back and tell you how much what you said or did hurt them.  When you acted in an unloving, uncaring way, they will tell you their feelings have been hurt, and with love and a great vulnerability they say it because they want nothing more, than to love you and be loved back.  With deliberate persistence, they keep finding ways back into your heart because what little girls want to keep showing you, is how to soften into receiving their beautiful and divine love.  

thoughts this evening

from your very own

dirty little girl

xxxx

Blood Rites Take Two

I amused myself as I got ready at home in my bathroom.  I had a symbolic rope to tie around me again.  I did up my own unique tie.  I like the way the rope wrapped around my cunt.  I put a dress on and said goodbye.  Within minutes I was at the trailhead. As I began to walk I immediately got a rise out of feeling the rope under my clothes, the way it pulled my skin as I walked, the way I felt like I was carrying a dirty, sexy little secret under my clothes.  It made me feel close to you.  I began to imagine you there, walking with me again.  I could hear you telling me to slow down, to feel.  I felt happy to be going to my new spot that I had scouted out a week earlier. Soon I took off down the side trail and went to my sweet spot by the river.  I crossed it to the other side and there found a trio of cedar trees in the middle of which was a perfect little bench seat log.  This is my new ritual spot.  I got a stick and cast a circle in my witchy way.  I summoned the Goddess and then I began.  I felt so much better doing it this time.  Much more relaxed and less worried about being caught.   I undressed and stood naked and bound and alone in the green quiet of the forest.  What a sexy sight it would have been had anybody seen.  I imagined you right there with me, encouraging me, witnessing, being so tuned in to me and so turned on.  The moment I emptied my full to the brim cup of blood, into my hands, and just before I was about to anoint myself, I felt that same moment of having my breath taken away as I did before.  I was about to pour this warm life giving blood all over me, there is something about doing this that feels ancient, dark, sacred, edgy and primal.   I felt much joy and ease with what I was doing and then I heard a hummingbird near and it made me smile.  I marvelled in the bright color of crimson red all over my legs, belly, arms.  I smeared it on my face.  I imagined you, I rubbed my clit on an exposed part of root but it wasn’t that smooth so I grabbed the stick I had peeled and cast my circle with and I used it to pleasure myself instead of my hands.  I was totally wet and aroused but I felt afraid to make noise for fear of being heard.  I then felt like untying my rope and it felt so freeing to be released, unbound and free, naked and wild in the woods and covered in my womb blood.  I used my true “magic wand” until I came into higher state of arousal.  I was showing you.  You were right there watching.  Then I arched my back over the log and laid back.   I imagined how beautiful it must have looked, I felt beautiful, dark and mystical.  I came with an intense and silent orgasm convulsing in the forest with only her as my witness and the flies buzzing around me.   I took some time to admire the drying blood.  To take in my surroundings and to pray and ask for more guidance.  Afterwards I took delight in washing myself off and giving back my blood to the earth at the place I had made at my feet.  Then I sat and listened.

Earth energy that rises, heavenly power that descends.

Meeting in my heart to heal and mend, that which keeps me from being me, she is here now for the world to see.  

I finished up, got dressed and closed my circle again, then I crossed the river back and walked to the main trail, I felt lighter, brighter, softer and more beautiful.  I walked slower, thinking about the real source of my power, about the divine feminine to which I am re-uniting within me and about cougar energy when all of the sudden a big beautiful owl flew right over my head!!  She landed in the tree right behind me. I stopped and turned and she turned her head and looked at me and I felt blessed.  I am always honoured by the confirmations the Universe gives me when I am walking in my truth.  It has always been so.  I am thankful for this moment.  

xxx dirty little girl

Blood Rites

Today was fraught with a lot of anxiety over this assignment even thought I was SO excited by the whole notion of it.  It had been a busy and stressful day with hardly any time at all for me to prepare let alone carve out an hour to so to do it and the next day was going to be even busier plus I knew my bleeding would be slower so it didn’t feel right to do it then.  You asked me to do this ritual when my bleeding was at its heaviest so it was today or wait another month and I was determined to not have to wait, I was impatient.  I thought of a spot I had been to before in the forest at a local park.  There was a huge fallen tree that I could walk along and find a spot to lie and sit on but when I arrived I saw that this tree was a lot closer to the trail than I had remembered.  I would have been total visible to people on the trail and there were people there this evening when I arrived not far from where I was.  I scouted around, not sure where to go, I found another seemingly great spot but then I saw a different trail up on the ridge above me which I didn’t know was there.  Dam!  I then heard a group of people coming from up in that direction.  I was beginning to have my doubts if I could pull this off, plus I was holding 50 Ft of tangled rope I still had to deal with.  Walking around I finally saw a nice big tree that I could sit at the base of.  It was only 50 feet off the main trail but hidden from trail  above.   I felt a bit desperate to find a place and get going before it was too late. Sitting around the back of the tree I was mostly hidden from view but if anyone walked off the trail a bit I would have been easily visible.  That and the fact that I was expected to pick up my son in a little under an hour added to my erotic tension. Could I actually pull this off?  I was feeling unsure.   I had my rope to tie around my body as a symbolic gesture of the mental stories that hold me back from being my most radiant self. Knowing that particular tie you showed me wasn’t mandatory alleviated me of some pressure.  I vowed to learn it and use it another time instead.  Once I knew that I could use the rope how I saw fit, it was go time!!!  I felt resistance to getting naked as I was so vulnerable to being seen here.  I made a plan in my mind for how to deal with that if it happened.   How I could get covered quickly and how no one would know it was blood.    Is this resistance or just shame I am feeling for what I am about to do?  

I stood up, undressed and then tied myself up.  I felt as if I had to do things quickly.  I took my menstrual cup out It was full to the brim and then I dumped it all out into my hands. At this point, I felt afraid for a split second and then I had to do it, it happened fast.  I covered my face, neck, chest, belly, legs and then feet.  As soon as it was done, it took my breath away.  I took a picture right away.  I can’t believe I am doing this, in public, in the woods!!! Oh my great goddess look at me!!!!!

I loved the sight of how dark my blood was.  I loved the warmth of it on my skin.  I wish I had more, cups and cups full to cover myself in.  I had it all over me,  I remembered to taste it, i

t tasted sweet.

I remembered to take a picture.  I took several and I got caught up in being able to see what I looked like, all crimson red and tied in rope at the base of a big tree.   My phone now had blood all over it too.  I kept looking around the tree, no one there.  More pictures, more sitting.  I listened to the rain coming gently down. I relaxed more then.  This all seemed so normal to me all of the sudden,  being outside, in amongst the green alive things.  Being naked there, with blood smeared all over me.  Even being tied up with a rope.  All this was perfectly natural, the only challenge was feeling rushed and slightly worried people would come.  I began to touch myself, my legs spread open.  I felt my wetness, my blood, I felt a little cold being naked in the rain at 6:30 at night.  I decided to break a small twig off the bush in front of me, I rubbed my clit with that instead like you asked No hands to masturbate, use something else.  I felt juicy but I did not get as aroused as I thought I could have or should have probably because of time pressure and being cold.  

When the blood was dried it felt smooth  and soft on my skin.  I had no desire to take it off of me.  In fact, I was resentful that I had to finish this assignment and leave in short order.  I wanted to sit there, back up against this sturdy soft tree forever.  But time was calling me on, so I looked at my notes.  I had to remember all the instructions because I am your good DLG and that is what I do.  I sent you the pics, you responded but I am not sure how it made you feel.  I noticed a slight feeling that maybe you were not pleased, maybe this was boring for you.  Fucking thoughts.  I notice a thought that I may be failing this assignment.  I may be failing you.  Maybe I am not as good a submissive as your others are.   Maybe if I was single with no young children and didn’t have so many responsibilities I would be more desirable and more able to be a better dirty little girl for you.   I felt a little wave of sadness to be so far away from you, to not know how you really feel receiving these pictures.  I am ashamed to admit having those thoughts but there they are.  I do not want to ever hide anything from you.  

Now it is time for the ritual.  I put my hands in prayer at my heart and summon her, the Great Mother, the only one for me.  I know her, she knows me.  It is not a stretch for me to call upon her.  I invite her to witness me, covered in blood sitting upon her lap in surrender.  I pray for her help.  Help me to release all the negative thoughts I have and carry about myself that keep me from being all that I am in this world.  Show me, tell me what to do to release the shackles of my mind that have kept me so bound.  I sit with eyes closed, hand to heart and this is what came…..

Go within, the answer lies there.  You already know because you know well who you are. You have never forgotten.  You need to go and do this ritual over again next month, much slower, more relaxed and in a different location.  You must find your own sacred spot that you will go to from now on to do your rituals.  Your own sacred, secret spot.  You must ritualize your blood every moon from now until the time when you no longer bleed and become a crone.  For many months you have forgotten.  It is time again for you to do this.  You must talk about what you are doing to others.  You must share the wisdom you usually keep quiet and hidden.  You must write about it and tell other women.   Men want to know too, they will learn.  Stay with the one who sent you here, he will help you.  Mix your blood with water and nourish the Earth like you used to.  This is the life giving blood that will heal. Summon protection around your home with your blood like you used to.  Mark your territory with your blood.  Come back again, you know I am always with you.   

I do not want to get up but feel I should.  I untie my ropes and let them fall to the ground as a symbolic gesture of release from my mental slavery. The spell is broken.  I now give my offering to my Mother.  I dig a shallow hole in the ground under me.  I pee into it and let my blood come out too.  I take a cloth with warm water that I brought and wipe all my blood off then ring out the cloth with the water and blood into the hole.  I take some more blood from my inside of me and mark it on the tree behind me.  I press my third eye into it to give thanks to the tree.  This is all I have, my naked body, my prayers, my blood and my truth.  I thank you daddy, I thank you Great Mother, I thank me.  It is done.  My parting thoughts are this…..

I can’t wait until next month, to do this again.  Even better, even deeper will I dive into the mystery of my blood and give so much thanks for the cycles of my life, for the cycles of the seasons and of this life and for being a woman.  I give so much thanks for the fluids of my body, for it’s wisdom, for it’s longing, for it’s mysteries and its beauty.  

I love you so much daddy.  I hope and pray often that I can be as much to you as you are to me.  

That is my greatest wish, to love you so deeply, so fully and so well.  

your very own, dirty little girl

xoxo

The Do-over

I have been anxious to re-do this assignment for you since I didn’t complete the first one.  You asked for three ejaculating orgasms in three places I have never masturbated before, within 24 hrs.  I feel so determined to be a good dirty little girl for you.  Nothing will get in my way of completing this.  

This morning, after I dropped kids off to school, I came home and went into my launrdry room, the only place in my home I have not had an orgasm yet.  I was feeling excited to do this for you today Daddy.  I was still feeling juicy from my weekend and feeling very connected to my ejaculate, my amrita, my sacred, beautiful and tasty fluids.  It didn’t  take me long at all to complete this assignment. I pulled my long green cotton skirt down around my ankles and started to rub my clit, I was dripping wet and relaxed and ready. I was totally aroused and within minutes, I came very quickly. I hadn't even given thought about putting a towel or something down on the floor so I had a whole lot of fluid all over the bottom of my skirt. Part one, done.  I struggled with taking the pictures as I usually do.  I have a hard time taking pics of myself.  I think they all suck.  I wanted to show you how much fluid came out all over my skirt.  I forgot that I was letting my pubic hair grow our which I have not done in a very long time and I have mixed feelings about. I know that is silly but it is true. After I sent the picture I regretted not cropping it out but I knew you would rather have me as I am,  with no editing so I let it go.  I want to take really hot, sexy photos for you and to do this, I need to take more time.  I felt unsure of whether this would please you or turn you on which feels important to me because still long to be your very best dirty little sub girl ever.  

A few hours later I took a walk with my dog at the river right near my house.  I felt good walking along in my skirt and boots, no panties,  and I found a little trail with a spot of sun.  As soon as I got off the main path I imagined you there, walking in silence with me, leading me down the path with one hand firmly on my shoulder directing me where you wanted me to go.  I was following your energy, your direction,  and then your words.  You said, "slow down, your walking too fast.  Feel your lips and cunt as your thighs move when you walk".   I did this.  After I found my spot, I sat down on a wet mossy log and  I spread my legs open wide,  I imagined you across the river bank watching from a short distance like the day we were at the park on the rocks.  You watched as I played with my cunt you with your cock in your hand.  I was wet and juicy sliding one finger along the length of my entire vulva, sliding up and down my clit and then plunging my finger in.  I used the energy of the water, the flow of the river and the goodess to guide me into releasing my fluids again.  Oh how I have been learning to embrace these holy waters. I remember when we first met, how you encouraged me to let it go and how resistant I was to do it. I began fucking myself with the other hand, two finders thrusting fast and hard deep into myself.  I felt like such a dirty slut in the woods, in public touching myself again.  I snapped some pictures for you, then let myself go, more ejaculate releasing into the earth.  I shook and trembled with pleasure once again feeling so grateful for how juicy I am, how ready my cunt always is to be fucked and loved and paid attention to and how orgasmic I can be especially when I think about you.  I am not sure where my third time will be.  I have no more private spaces to fuck myself, they have all been used.  I have to find a space in public again.

Third time…..I had a plan all worked out.  I have been wanting to dress up in my slut gear and take photos.   I had a place all picked out to go to this early morning and do that but my plan had to change because I had to go to doctor at the last minute at 7:30 am this morning.  I didn’t know when I would be back and if I would have time before I started work today to complete my assignment, it made me anxious so I awoke at 5am before everyone was awake in my house.  I slipped outside to my back yard with a blanket wrapped around me.  It was pitch black and cold but so sweet to be under the stars, getting naked and playing with myself and my sexual energy.  Again, I was wet already, but it took me longer to bring myself to full arousal.  I was distracted by thoughts, I felt worried I wouldn’t complete this assignment, worried someone would wake up and my plan would be ruined and I would have to do it all again for you.  I thought of you, I thought of being with you and other men together. I thought of your verbal direction, telling me to come at once for daddy, like a good little girl. I thought of a woman licking my cunt.  I stopped to take a few pictures, I resumed and quickly came into more full arousal and had an orgasm before I got a chance to stimulate my G area enough to ejaculate. I greeted the day with my legs spread wide, with a smile on my cunt and on my face and a warmth in my heart for you.  I went inside and within two minutes my son was awake and I was grateful I had got it done in time.  

Love as always,

Your dirty little girl

xxx