A year in review

This past year has been, in my view, an excellent year of steady growth, understanding, friendship, support and refinement of my role as submissive to daddy.  What started out as a fairly rocky beginning to 2014, when we were still in the midst of trying to be something different and navigating our long distance relationship from 3000 miles apart, has ended in a mutually satisfying, beautifully supportive, erotic and loving co-creation of our D/s relationship.  Here is what I noticed.  When I was trying to hard to make us something we just couldn't be, it created tension and pain.  When I finally let go of all my attachment to what I thought it should be, when I allowed myself to be myself,  to not fall into the "I am not good enough" cycle and to be honest about where I was at in my life, what I was truly able to give and how I felt about daddy, things got a lot easier.  All the defensiveness dropped away and daddy and I could just be.  Without having the fear of my defensive patterns and the pull away reaction that daddy had as a result, we could ease into freer and deeper conversations where we could be more and more honest and open about everything.  A funny thing happens when you are not afraid of losing something, when you move out of fear and recognize the gift available in working with what is real in the moment.  It  becomes so much easier to be totally honest and authentic and our hearts can open more fully.  That seems like what happened with us.  We began to move into deeper connection, trust and friendship as time went on.  Relationships take time to build.   I love that daddy and I can talk very openly about everything and help each other navigate our way through our other relationships with genuine care.  We both want each other to thrive, be happy and fulfilled in love and in our erotic lives and we have consistently supported each other in this direction, even through the jealously that inevitably crops up.  I love that I can be totally myself with daddy and he with me and that we can be vulnerable with each other.  I can lean on him, I can fall and he will catch me, he will always have my back and my best interest in mind and I know that now.  Along with being his devoted and loyal sub, I want him to feel held by me and I am pretty sure he does.  2014 has been an evolution of our love, our commitment and desire to move forward in the most clear and loving ways.  I have learned so much more about daddy, watched him grow as a man, learn and struggle in his life just like we all do.  I have deepened into my role as his dlg and I look forward to our future, to more visits, longer stays, more play, fun, surrender,  passion, and kink.   I look forward to it all and what more we will choose to create and how we will weave this beautiful relationship into our lives in more rich and fulfilling ways.  I love you daddy.  I can't imagine my life without you in it.

Here's to another amazing year ahead,
big love from
your dirty little girl
xxx

Devotion

Starting on January 1 2015 and to be carried out until May 1,  where we will have another evalution about what these changes have brought.

A collar will be worn every time we Skype as a symbol of my service and as a way to remind me that I am bound to daddy as his submissive.  This collar will also be brought and presented to daddy next time I see him for him to officially collar me and will be taken with me every time I am to be with daddy.  The first time I place this collar on my neck, I will present it to daddy, via skype with my words of devotion in prepartion for when he can collar me directly.  The pre ritual ritual.  

A weekly text to talk about my committment and what he means to me included with a photo.  

A package every other week in the mail, of a new pair of panties imbued with my juices as I know how much he savors the scent of me.  These will be new panties purchased for the occasion and worn for 24 hours while arousal has occured.  

A blog post every other week, about my thoughts, feelings, experiences and dreams as an erotic submissive woman.

Each month when I am about to bleed,  I will let him know so he can by synced with my cycle.  When I send him things, the package will always be sealed with a dab of my blood in some way.

When I see daddy, whether it be on Skype or in person, I will present myself to him on my knees with head bowed as a sign of my devotion until he tells me to rise.

These are a few of the ways in which I will show my devotion more consistently with my daddy.  I will add to this list as I am inspired, able or requested by him.

With love,
dlg

Processing and Devotion

Yesterday we had our talk.  I must say,  it went well and I am so proud of the way we can handle ourselves in what could be very challenging conversations and how we continually strive to speak our truths without blame or shame and move always in the direction of evolving our love.  This much is clear, we do both share a deep love, desire and commitment for things to continue and grow and at the same time we continually bump up against our limitations of living 3000 miles apart.  Daddy's request was for me to show my devotion to him in more consistent reliable ways of my choosing.  He  mentioned that at times, the energy of our D/s relationship seems to wane.   Given our busy lives, other relationships and distance etc...This is not surprising and I have felt it too.  We agreed that the ebb and flow and fluctuations in the energy exchange are expected and didn't signify that anything was wrong or that either of us were failing in our role somehow.  We agreed to allow the space for those fluctuations to be and let things naturally take their course and to always let each other know if and when we needed something more which is what was happening now.  This approach allows for our more authentic and spontaneous expression with how things get played out, instead of doing what we "think" we should be doing, meeting some quota of homework and sharing etc... we can do what feels right at the time.  I love the space and room we give each other, it is truly beautiful to watch our relationship unfold.

Daddy also made a request that I commit to regular visits, whether they be twice a year or more in order for this to work.  I agreed.  Daddy needs to feel and know my devotion as his submissive, as his baby girl, as his dirty little one in more consistent ways in order for it to work for him.  And he asks to know how he can continue to show his devotion to me.

I listened with a calm and open heart to all he shared.  I cried tears of joy for I know that he loves me and values me in his life and for the beauty and vulnerability he shows in expressing his desires to me.  I feel deep pangs of longing and gratitude to be able to love, serve and please this man.  It is my honour to do so.   I only wish I could be closer to him so I can show him in more physical and deliciously sexual and sensual ways. Which brings me to part two, how to show my devotion?
This is what my hearts desires versus what is truly possible in the reality of this present space and time in my life.

The thought of not being able to be daddy's baby girl right now would shatter my heart.  I am devoted to him and I long to be closer which would mean more visits, at least 3-4 times a year where we would spend at least a week together.  Or, that I would live on the East Coast, several months of the year being closer to him and my family which would be a great benefit for everyone all around.  My heart desires to be his 24/7 sub which would also contain deep friendship, being lovers, and the occasional switch of power exchange so we could both have our turn at surrendering.  My heart desires to love him freely, fully, passionately with all the sexual, sensual and erotic energy we share spilling over into playing with others as well.  Our cup would run over with erotic juices, it would be our natural desire to want to share it, including our current partners.  My heart desires more, fun, creative erotic adventures that would include his instruction into more of my current life situation.  I desire that he become an active role in my life, meeting my children, family and friends.  I desire that he be willing to come see and stay with me once a year.   I do not want to be hidden in his life.  I wish for him to speak openly and proudly of me as his submissive lover and friend to others.  My desire is that I grow and deepen my relationship with him over many long years and that he always be a consistent part of my life.  For that is how much he means to me.
And here is the reality...…

I cannot just move to the East Coast, not right now.  I can entertain the idea of moving and living/working part time on the East coast, but I don't foresee it happening until the summer or next fall. I am greatly challenged by my financial situation right now,  affording two places to live feels tricky at the moment.  I can make regular trips as I have been,  at least once a year but when I am there I have to share my time with my family too so sometimes staying a whole week with him is a challenge.   I would like for that to not be the case.   I can show my devotion more consistently in a fun and creative way that will please daddy, that would be a joy for me.  I already have some ideas but will share them with him directly later.   I can commit to more regular texting, emailing on a daily or weekly basis but I need adequate time to complete my assignments as sometimes I struggle given my busy and hectic lifestyle as a working mother.   I can commit to sending things by mail on a weekly or biweekly basis.  I can commit to photo sharing, more writing on this blog.  I can commit to more sexual adventures that I fulfil here at home that include my daddy more actively and creatively whether they are with myself or with others.    I am committed to sharing my devotion more, as I wish to please daddy from the very depths of my being.  Not only because of all he does for me but because he is one of the most beautiful, authentic, loving and devoted men I have ever met.  He deserves to have this devotion reflected back to him.  So for now, that is where I am.  I will speak with him soon.  I have already spoken to my husband and shared with him my truth and how I wish for things to move forward for daddy and I and for us as a polyamorous, open couple.  My husband is in full support and was encouraged by my desire for daddy to be more a part of my life here and maybe a part of our sexual life as well.   Today I feel truly blessed.
More thoughts from,
~DLG

A talk

Tomorrow is the day we are going to reevaluate our relationship again.  I am both afraid and excited.  This past year has been a huge year of change, of emotional ups and downs and reworking of my own primary partnership and marriage, my relationship to you daddy,  my relationship to this polyamorous, open lifestyle I have created and to my life in general.  A lot has been unearthed.  I had to tear down all that was not working, not growing well.  The soil has been upturned and now the time comes to see what wants to grow.  It is inevitable that things may change with you and I daddy but I don't want them to, I am resistant to that.  You have become such an incredible part of my life, not just as daddy but as a great friend, a support, a lover and one who understands me deeply as I do you.  I can't imagine my life without you in it now.  Let change come if it must and it will,  but let the change be one that allows a continued growth and evolvement of us.  Let us keep inspiring each other towards our greatness and our deep commitment to our erotic, sexual and sensual lives.  I honour that you are also going through changes of your own, tending to a new primary relationship in your life.  Where do I fit in for you?  What are your deepest desires? How can we move towards manifesting all that we both want in this life?  If I could have my way, we would always have this D/s arrangement but I would be a more regular and physical part of your life so I could love and serve you the way I have always truly wanted as your dirty little girl.    I suppose we would live closer to each other, at least part of the year to make that happen.   I have always thought there was so much potential with us.  I am afraid this long distance thing is to hard to carry out, it seems so limiting in ways.  I want to be unlimited with you.  I want to freely express and explore everything with you.  I want to open my heart to love you, touch you and please you as fully as I can.   I don't know what tomorrow will bring.  I am afraid you will say no to us.  I am afraid you will say it is not working for you to be this far apart, to be my daddy anymore, when we only see each other once or twice a year.   I am afraid there is just not enough of a mutual give and take for you to get what you truly need and for it to sustain itself this way.  I am afraid of losing something but I know that is just my limited way of thinking, that there is no lack, there is nothing to lose ever.   There is only our own truth and always a moving towards the great love that is within us.  I will speak with you tomorrow.  I wonder what your thoughts are.  I have a bittersweet taste in my mouth already, as if I am going to have to grieve some inevitable loss my heart will feel the sorrow of.
Until tomorrow
xxx
dlg

A Blood bath

Just the other day I was catching up on Skype with you as we often do.   I only had a little time before I had to pick up my kids from school.  I told you I was bleeding and something inside of you lit up.  I had the idea to cover myself in my blood for you while we mutually witnessed pleasuring ourselves.  You were very game.  It didn't take me long to seize this opportunity.   I grabbed my hitachi and headed in the bathroom, computer in hand.  You got naked and comfy on your couch.  I took the glass jar that I have been collecting my blood in for the last two days off my shelf and I swirled it around showing you how much blood was there.  You see my dark, rich blood and you shiver.  I love how much you appreciate this magical and potent fluid.  I have never really had a lover in my life who understands the beauty and power of this life giving blood.  I took off all my clothes for you and then sat on the edge of my bathtub.  I pulled the warm cup out of my cunt that was full of this days blood and I started to pour it down my chest, letting the warmth flow down my belly and onto my legs.  I spread it all around me.  I saw your eyes widen.  I love how turned on you are by this, I love to witness you in your pleasure.  I immediately began to touch myself.  I watched your cock grow and swell before me as I have many times before.  I loved that you could see me, covered in blood and I feel the other beautiful juices begin to drip from the deepest part of me.  I let the blood drip onto the floor of the bathroom as I sat on the edge of the tub.   I poured another round down my body and watched you marvel again at the bright red streaks that now painted my body, my floor, my tub in a new kind of art.   I had my hitachi on my clit and I was getting aroused.  My energy was slow in building but I managed to ejaculate on the floor nonetheless.  I watched you cum, knowing how much we both wished we could be together in real time,  mixing and mingling our fluids right now in beautiful sacred alchemy.  Soon after, I came in rippling waves.  You said you wished we could have photographed it.   It must have been a great visual.  I only had a few minutes left so I had to quickly jump in the shower and go.  We said our goodbyes and within 10 minutes I was walking along the school yard chatting with strangers, a little smile on my face on thinking about what I had just done.  For a quickie it was a great one.  I greatly look forward to the day when the stars align for us to do this beautiful ritual together.  I know that day will come.  Until then, I am loving you more than ever.

Your deeply grateful,
baby girl

What the dirty little girl needs in a man

While I have been learning, growing and changing in my relationship with daddy, here are a few things I have learned about myself.  In order for me to be happy in a relationship here are some of the things I need...

Treat me like a Queen.  If you don't know what that means, start learning.  Don't call me princess because princess I am not.  Know the difference.  Here are some easy tips...

Show some old school etiquette.  Open the door for me, walk with me instead of several paces ahead, be the one to pay even if we share a bank account.  When you go to the bar to get a drink for yourself, ask me what I may like as well.  Don't always leave me alone at a party for most of the night.  Come be by my side from time to time or maybe even the whole night.  Let people know we are together and be proud to be seen with me.  Shower me with love and lots of public displays of affection when we are out together.  Hold my hand and put your arm around me when we walk.  Let me feel taken care of.

Be sexy with me in public.  Tease and tantalize me and see how much I will want to do sexy, sensual and dirty little things that will turn you on.  Your Queen likes to be seen.  Having fun little displays of sexy interaction throughout the day or in public are sweet and keeps the energy flowing within and between us.

Touch me often.   My need to touch and be touched is so great that without it I feel starved.  I like to be touched in countless ways and in countless places.  My body is a map with hidden treasure.  Take the time to read the signs and you will be sure to find gold.  When you touch me, I become more fully embodied.  I  can totally surrender and open up the great feminine mystery within me.   When I feel truly open, my juices flow abundantly and then I will invite you in and to come more fully into your own divine masculine energy.

Tell me with words how important I am, how much you appreciate all the wonderful little and not so little things I do.  I need to be reminded again and again that I am beautiful, desirable, sexy, sweet and smart and that I turn you on.  I need to be reminded of how amazing I am and why you fell in love with me and why you keep loving me still.

I am a hard working girl.  I do more than you realize, show your appreciation for all that I do.  Taking an equal share of the responsibilities and duties in our home will help keep my stress levels down.  Be thoughtful and responsible.   I will notice what you do and be grateful for it.   When I am happy in my home,  and my energy is abundant and flowing well, I will have more to give and love you well.  Recognize the importance of beauty and support me in creating beauty in our home and in our life.

Keep dating me no matter how many years may go by.  Take me out to eat at a nice restaurant from time to time.  I love to be wined and dined, go for picnics on the beach, spend time in nature.  Just don't always expect me to take care of everything like I usually do.  Be unpredictable.  Surprise me and never forget my birthday.

Sex, let's have it often and in a wide variety of ways.  I like it sweet and I like it kinky.   I like to feel the strong presence of your masculinity.  Be willing to explore it all.  I like to kiss, a lot.  Kissing can be more important than sex.  Learn how to be an amazing kisser and I will be extremely happy.  I will take care of all your sexual needs and gladly.  I am good like that.

Others are going to be important in my life.  I like to share my abundance of love, sensuality and sexuality with the world.   I am willing to go the distance and explore all the ways this may work best in our lives but life is a work in progress, our life will go through many ups and downs and changes.  Be willing to hang in there.   Some of the greatest growth will happen here.

Be willing to always be working on ways to be in the flow of love.  What is most important to me is love, beauty, sensuality, sexuality, my connection to the natural world and my connection to the truth of who I am really am.  Be willing to have conversations that goes beyond the surface of things.  I am a deep diver into the sea of consciousness, be willing to journey there with me.  

How to get along with Daddy- A users guide

It has been almost a year and a half since I have been in this ever evolving, co-creative relationship with daddy and here are a few things I have learned.  This is an ongoing process of discovery, of course there will be more to add and change over time.  

If you want to get along well with daddy, consider incorporating these things.

Make him feel really good about himself often because he is an amazing man, he deserves it.  We all need to be reminded of how awesome we are from time to time.  Daddy has his negative and critical voices too.

Make good food passionately.  He will appreciate being served very much, especially since his whole life is about service to others.  He will enjoy feeling incredibly loved and taken care.  The love and intention you put into the food you serve him will sprout like a beautiful seed and grow inside his belly,  it's tentacles one day will reach back out to embrace you.

Take care of daddy sexually and sensually too.  Keep his cock and balls happy and drained in as many ways as possible.  Learn how to become very skilled with your hands and be prepared to learn new things about being a highly, erotically embodied person.  Learn how to touch him with exquisite care. Have complete presence and reverence for his body and he will purr like a kitten and be putty in your hands.  He will tell you what he likes.  Learn how to become an expert at giving pleasure and you will be rewarded.   He has more than plenty to give when it comes to sex and his erotic energy but he wants to have equal time to receive, and so he should.  He doesn't want to always have to be the one to take the lead, to be the pursuer, to be in control.  Being the one always in control gets tiring sometimes.  He needs to be able to take a break and be lead from time to time. Be willing to explore what this means for you.  Be willing to be in your sexual power, to take your pleasure while giving him his.

Always bring your entire sexual self to daddy, no holding back.  Be the most daring, creative, fierce, feminine, sexy, slutty self that you can be.  He will take great delight at being turned on by you, by your displays of affection, sluttiness, seduction, and by your mind.  Have no fear, if he doesn't want it right then or is not in the mood, he will tell you exactly how he feels because....

Daddy is the king of COMMUNICATION!!! Daddy demands a high level of clear, loving, and ever evolving communication that moves beyond the old ways relating that limit us.  You may not know at first what this means.  You may also think you have some idea of what he is talking about but have not had a relationship where you actually practiced this style of undefended loving and speaking with your mate.  Here are some tips...

Be willing to face the hard stuff.  Be willing to stand strong and not cave in when things get tough.  Be willing to face your own shadows.  We are all holding up a mirror for each other to see that which is not readily observable within ourselves and there is no one better at this than daddy.  It will not always feel good, but if you can move out of the small self you will see the opportunities for growth that are available.  Don't interrupt him, especially when you have asked him to share his feelings or thoughts on a matter or a particularly sensitive subject.  This can feel like being defensive even if you are not meaning to be.  Doesn't matter.  The point is,  when you open the space for him to share or when he comes to you needing to be heard, hear him, fully.  That means, ALL of what he has to say, leaving lots of room for the spaces in between words.  Be comfortable with silence.  Ask him questions to bring out more of his sharing, more of his processing until he is totally done, done, done and spent.  Until he has exhausted himself and all his emotions.  Do not hijack his time by interjecting with anything no matter how important you think it is, by making things all about you, by doing anything but being your most open hearted, fully present and attentive self.  If you do you will learn that he will give you more than equal time to do the same.  He is so, so good like that.  You will be heard and given the same respect and honor and space to share and process your story.  And when things go awry as they will, you can talk to him about it because he is a willing participant in the evolution of it all.  Be patient, sometimes he needs time and space which may feel like pulling away from you.  Give him the space he needs but also make your needs crystal clear about how you would like him to be with you, what you need from him and he will do his best to meet you.  Daddy is always fair.  Daddy knows what he wants and although he is willing to compromise and negotiate with some things, he isn't willing to settle for others.  That is just the way it is.  We all want to have our needs and desires met and he is no different.

Daddy is unpredictable.  Get ready to be taken by surprise sometimes, just when you least expect it.  Daddy will keep you on your toes and guessing about what might be coming next, be ready. 

Sex, BDSM and others......You will learn, as least for now, as things always are changing, that daddy likes to love and love deep but he also likes to play.  Daddy has a high sex drive and he likes to be able to share that, express it in the world and experience it from and with others.  He will need to have space for this in his life too.  Daddy is very kinky and has many slick tricks up his sleeve when it comes to BDSM play.  Just like him, his kinks and fetishes are evolving too.  He is a most devoted and thoughtful Dom.  He will take excellent care of you.  He will leave you breathless and begging for more but you will may have to pay your dues as his takes his pleasure.  If BDSM or non monogamy are new to you, get to know the language and the lay of the land and see if it fits for you.  

Be willing to do your own work to grow, learn and evolve as a human being and don't expect him to always be the one to show you.  Showing you are interested and motivated by doing your own work means you care are willing to do what it takes to move forward.  He will appreciate this.

Calling Daddy on his stuff......Don't be afraid, just find the gentle ways to do so, without blame or shame or throwing your anger at him in ways that are mean or hurtful.  Just bring your feelings to him, all of them and lay them on the table to explore.  He is more than happy to look at his shadow sides too.

I know I am still learning about my Dearest Daddy as we grow in our relationship together, these are just a few of my observations so far.  I am sure there is more to add but this is a pretty good start.  Being in relationship with him has not always been easy but it has been more than worth the ride.  He is one of the most amazing men I have ever known.  It is a deep honor to share my heart space with him and I am very proud to be his dirty little girl.

Day 7 - Airport Masturbation

It's late.  I am at the airport trying to catch some sleep before my early flight out in the morning.
I am lying down on a bench, covered in a soft blanket, even my head is covered.  Someone is asleep on the bench behind me. It is not terribly busy yet but there is a steady stream of people passing by, even for this late hour.  I slowly slip my hand down my pants.  Am I really going to do this? Yes, why yes I am.  With my middle finger, I rub and vibrate my clit through my outer lips only.  This is different for me.  After a few minutes, I find a stream of pleasure and I am hot on it's trail.  I am not going to lose it,  though it is harder to keep track of my clit like this but I am determined.  It is a game now, can I actually pull this off, in public, on this airport bench?

Every time someone walks by I feel my breath become still. They all pass. What is the worst that will happen? Maybe I will never move. I will stay hidden away under here and never know if someone noticed.

I try very hard to move just my finger, not my arm so as not to be too obvious.  My face is hot, it is hard to breathe under the blanket.   I am turned on, public sex always excites me.  I keep rubbing, through my labia only.  I never feel my silky wetness.  Soon I cum in silent contractions, trying not too move my body. Afterwards I take a deep breath and let my body relax entirely.   I hear the guy behind me snoring.  I have a secret smile on my face. I peek out, the coast is clear.   Day 7 and it is done.
loving you
Dlg

Day 6 Dreamtime

I had a full day of work and then my kids came back from being away for a week.  At the end of the night when everyone was tucked in bed,  I finally managed to settle down and have space to myself.  I became engaged in a much needed meditation sitting in my bed.  I traveled into my heart space looking to release the places that I had built up walls, the places where I have hardened, the places that felt dark.  There are plenty,  but then I came to the place of hot burning flames and found the source of unending love and passion that reside within me.  I traveled through deep space to find my own central sun fully alive and  burning bright.  It was clear as day, my job is to know that, to expand that and to breathe all that fire and love of my heart more into this world.  I was so comfortable there, I didn't want to leave.  I stayed for a while, then I must admit, I fell asleep.  I went into a deep and peaceful sleep and entered into the dreamtime.  That was my practice for tonight, my self pleasuring came in the form of waves of deep rest and rejuvenation in the center of my heart.  Tomorrow is another day daddy.
From my heart to yours,
your dirty sleepy girl

Day 5 Sex and Sax

End of the night, I turned off all the lights, lit a candle and put on the slow, sexy sounds of the saxophone.  I put on a skimpy dress and I danced, in my living room, watching my reflection in the window.  This is one of my favourite things to do.  Dance alone in the dark with a slight reflection of myself to watch in windows.  I danced slowly and sensually.  I love the way my body moves.  I love the way it looks when it's moving so freely.  I turned myself on.  I imagined maybe I would turn someone else on too.  I let the music move me,  I let myself feel as sexy as I could imagine, hips swaying.   I touched my body everywhere.  I rubbed my nipples through my dress until they were hard.   I teased myself.  I lifted my dress, I touched my thighs, my belly, my throat and hair.  It felt nice, in the darkness.  I danced for a while and then I stepped back and sat on the edge of the couch and spread open my legs.  I watched myself in the window as I felt the moisture between my legs.  I took my time, I was in no rush.  It was a soft, slow arousal building.  It was nice.  I didn't even feel a need to have an orgasm but in the end I did.  It was sweet.  That is how I felt, and how I ended this day, sweet and sexy.
all my love
your dlg

Day 4 The bath

Filling up the tub
I lie down inside

let the water run over my clit

little waves of warm pleasure

rising up inside 

it feels good to have my legs 

up in the air and spread wide open
while the water pours down 

upon me

I begin to move my hips

as if I could fuck the current

just a little

I raise them slightly up

toward the faucet to feel

more pressure 

oh yes that feels good

she is now is awake and wanting more

but pretty soon my tub 

is full to the brim with water

so I turn it off and

just lie back now 

feel the silky wetness of my being

how it feels different than the texture 

of the water that surrounds it

I relax back for a while

enjoying the moment
then I move to my bed

in the coziness of my room

I touch and breathe and spread my juices all over

So juicy wet

I feel so blessed 

I feel my arousal rise

I fantasize

about you

about a woman

about having her tongue to please me

softness again softness

I am cumming again

in rippling waves of orgasmic bliss

Then I am still

letting the energy work it's  way through

In stillness I fall asleep

the lights were still on

Day 3 Sexy Skype with Daddy

This afternoon was a treat getting to have a sexy Skype date with you.   I always love witnessing each other and sharing in our pleasure that way.  Of course I would prefer to have you in the flesh but it is what we have right now so there we were.  I so enjoy being on camera for you, especially with my hitachi.  I felt sad when you said you might not let me use it today but then you did and I was so happy!  I delight in letting myself completely go for you, with all my sound and breath and wanting.  Seeing you handle and stroke your cock turns me on so very much.  Seeing your naked body lying there  I am instantly aroused.   You turn me on, I turn you on, it is a beautiful thing.  I love hearing your primal sounds.  I love the energy and charge we share, it is so beautiful.  I could have had an orgasm in seconds, I had to come off my hitachi which I love to sit on and switch to fucking myself with my dildo so I wouldn't go over the edge too quickly.  I relished seeing all your cum, you know how much it turns me on.  I hate thinking how long I have to go without seeing it again.  That is my truth for tonight.  I am so pleased that we could share ourselves together today.  I had such a nice big orgasm with you and afterwards when I left for work, I was still feeling hot and aroused, my cheeks were rosy red.  I wonder what tomorrow will bring.  Thank you for today!

In service and in gratitude,
your dirty baby girl
xxx

Day 2-The Goddess

Tonight on this full harvest moon, I went to a women's gathering to honour the divine feminine that is awakening in each of us.  I dressed in white, something I rarely do. There is so much black in my life, it felt good to be lighter, softer, allowing feminine essence to shine through me.  When the time came, I undressed and lay in the middle of 7 woman I did not know.  With my eyes shut I let them adore me.  I let them pour their total love and prayers all over my body, my heart, my feet, my yoni.  I was covered from head to toe in flower petals and anointed with Frankincense as they chanted the mantra of awakening over and over.  Seed sounds to ignite that which is already alive within me.    I allowed myself to receive as much love and devotion as I could imagine.  This was my death and rebirth and it was perfect.  I had just ovulated right before the gathering was to begin.  Something in me was bursting, ready to have a voice in this world.  When the night was over I came home, tired from the long night of chanting, moving energy and being present for 7 others in their process.  But I am committed to my pleasure, I am committed to you and your guidance daddy.  I am committed to documenting my process in this blog as you asked.

Tonight as I lay naked on my white sheet, it was she the Goddess, who was calling forth pleasure.  Now my hands adored my own body, feeling every inch of my skin, my hair, my juicy wetness for which I am so grateful.  I blessed myself in oil again.  Tonight it was about devotion, deserving, adoration and allowing me to feel her emerging, calling forth the pleasure that is hers/mine.  How easy it would be to have just gone to sleep.  How easy it is to forget that we matter, that we deserve to be honoured with delicious slow hands touching with nothing but love.  I brought myself to orgasmic rippling waves again, by myself, under the light of the harvest moon, in my room, alone and I liked it.
all my love,
your dlg

7 days of Pleasure-Day One

It is late, I am tired from not having slept much last night at the party.  I am about to go to bed and am alone in my room.  This is the perfect way to end the weekend.  I lit the candle you gave me.  I let the night air in and I undress until I am totally naked in the glow of the candlelight.   I lay down on my white sheets, put my headphones on and begin to cover my entire body with oil.  I am going to give my  body all the care and attention it deserves.  It is begging to be touched.  I breath in more air as I slide my hands all over my now slick body.  It feels delicious.  I play with both my nipples, I massage my beautiful pussy, taking so much time and care to say hello to all the outside places that love to be touched before I begin to slid my hands over my clit.  I keep breathing in and moving, moving, moving my body, circling my hips, spreading my legs wide open in the air, arching my back and inviting my energy to move.  The coconut oil melting down around my clit and into my cunt is delightful and arousing.  I begin to feel my arousal building as I massage and rub and love myself up.  In no time  my heart beat quickens, my breathing becomes deeper and my arousal is higher.  I squeeze my nipples and circle my clit in sync with each other and suddenly I feel like getting my dildo.  I have an intense desire to be filled and as soon as I slide it in I am moaning in pure pleasure.  I have to stop now and then to not go over the edge too quickly.   I am so hungry to be fucked.  My cunt is begging for it.  I think about you daddy, about the way we stared into each others eyes while we made love, about kissing you.  About how good it feels to be in your arms.   I slide my dildo in and out slowly as I think of you now while I massaged my clit.  It feels so good then that I  just start giving it everything I have.  I pump my hips, arch my back, take big breaths in as I let the pleasure fill my body up.  I need this, I want this pleasure.  I want it every day in my life, in ways big and small.   I pump my dildo into me wishing it was your cock.  Feeling how much I miss you,  I let myself go, body convulsing fully in a much needed orgasm.  I lay there for a minute or two savouring the experience.   Then I slide it back in for more pleasure, more joy.  Then I rub my juices all over my body.  I love the smell.  I love how copious my fluid is.   I want to just lie here and drink it all in.  I am filled with gratitude for you as I often am.  And this is how I end my night.  I will look forward to talking to you tomorrow.
xoxo
dlg

On the Dance Floor

Have an orgasm in the middle of a crowded dance floor you said.   Tonight was the night.  The moon was full and high, the summer night was perfect.  I had my plan.  When the party was at the peak, I was going to do it, somehow.  I didn't really know how, but I was feeling brave.  Things got going so late, and I was drinking more than I usually do.   I was wondering if there would be an erotic connection that I would make to help things along but there really wasn't.   I was growing impatient as the party seemed to take a long time to gather momentum.  People were scattered everywhere, the dance floor was not always occupied.  In all truth, I was not feeling very aroused in any way.   After a long while, I decided to go to a private room and play with myself for 10 min to arouse myself.  Surely that would help.  Then I would put my vibrator in my panties and go back out to dance.  Perfect!   So that is exactly what I did, although I brought a friend to do this with me which made it way more fun.   My 10 minutes turned into a spontaneous dance of erotic contact and movement between us full of beautiful intensity.  I made it end although we could have stayed longer.   I had to stay on task.  We then gathered ourselves back up and I snuck back on the dance floor with my vibrator turned on.   I really had to work hard to find my arousal.  It felt good but not quite enough to get me going full tilt by any stretch.  I tried moving with it,  swaying my hips into it, rolling and slithering my body along with it as I felt my labia touching the vibrator.  I tried standing still,  I tried to breath it up, drink it in, but all to no avail.  Dam!!!  This is so interesting.  I stayed with it,  closing my eyes to really get in touch with my feeling state.   Maybe I was too tipsy, maybe the alcohol was prohibiting my arousal? That was a possibility.    I went inwards, trying to really be aware of every sensation possible.    I let my body move with no care for anyone else just doing what it loves to do.  Suddenly the sexy young blonde woman was whispering in my ear.  She said,  "I  am loving watching you dance.  Your movement is so authentic."  I said, "Thank you" and then we danced closer.  I pressed my forehead to hers and our hips swayed together for a few minutes and then we parted ways.  I continued to struggle to find my higher state of arousal, the one that would bring me closer to that edge.   I was trying not to go down the road of frustration.  The dance floor was empty, save for a few people.  I was already feeling that dreaded sense of failure.  The idea that I was letting you down is too much for me to bare.  I have to complete my assignment!   Shit!   I am going to have to tell you the truth and I was already dreading it.   Am I failing in my role as submissive by not following your orders?  Is  the truth of my experience valid or am I not trying hard enough?  Surely I MUST be able to have a freaking orgasm!   Lying to you would never be an option.  I moved to the corner of the room,  leaned against the wall and closed my eyes again trying so hard to concentrate on the vibrator, on my sensations.  The next thing I know a man is in front of me asking me if I am ok.  This is clearly not working.  I go back to the private space  and lie down for 5 minutes.  I slip my hand down to my clit.  I am wet, really wet but I am not able to generate my arousal and sustain it long enough.   I go back for one more try on the dance floor.  I begin to miss you immensely.  I wish you were awake to be part of my journey right now.  The physical distance that is between us is all too real for me in this moment and I feel sad.  I want you closer to me.   My friend comes and finds me on the dance floor and asks me to go outside.  I felt a sense of relief in ways.   I turned off my vibrator in the hallway but kept it inside my panties.   It is well past 3am,  I must have danced with my vibrator on for at least 30 minutes but it felt like a lot more.  It never ran out of batteries, but I did.  I am not sure how you will view this.  I am not sure what you will do or say.  Will there be a punishment? Will you be disappointed in me?  Will you think I am failing in my role? I am afraid of not being good enough daddy.
I deeply desire to be your best dirty girl ever.
I long to please you, very much.
I think I tried my best.

Your sad and sorry dirty little girl

What little girls are like sometimes

Little girls are persistent and know what they want, and when daddy tells them "No,"  they storm out of the room stomping their feet with a furrow in their brow, little arms crossed tightly around their chest as the indignation rises.  Then say things like, "Oh yes I will" and, " You can't make me!", and " I, AM !" and such.  But when you don't give in, when you stand your ground because you, after all, know what is best, they eventually forget about being mad and hurt and frustrated and they love you again.  They love you because that is what they long to do.  They know and feel your consistent love and guidance underneath,  so they have a deep inner trust that they can keep leaning back into whether they realize it or not. This is what makes them able to love you, deeply and without question, even when you don't make sense, even when you contradict yourself, even when you are unfair or too distracted to really pay attention to them.   Little girls will love you even when they know, that what you said, or did, was not coming from place of love, in that moment, because they sense that you are tired, and stressed and worn out and that you are scared too sometimes.  They see you and they understand and then they keep loving the best way they can and as much as you will let them.  

Sometimes, when little girls feel really strong in themselves, they can come back and tell you how much what you said or did hurt them.  When you acted in an unloving, uncaring way, they will tell you their feelings have been hurt, and with love and a great vulnerability they say it because they want nothing more, than to love you and be loved back.  With deliberate persistence, they keep finding ways back into your heart because what little girls want to keep showing you, is how to soften into receiving their beautiful and divine love.  

thoughts this evening

from your very own

dirty little girl

xxxx

Blood Rites Take Two

I amused myself as I got ready at home in my bathroom.  I had a symbolic rope to tie around me again.  I did up my own unique tie.  I like the way the rope wrapped around my cunt.  I put a dress on and said goodbye.  Within minutes I was at the trailhead. As I began to walk I immediately got a rise out of feeling the rope under my clothes, the way it pulled my skin as I walked, the way I felt like I was carrying a dirty, sexy little secret under my clothes.  It made me feel close to you.  I began to imagine you there, walking with me again.  I could hear you telling me to slow down, to feel.  I felt happy to be going to my new spot that I had scouted out a week earlier. Soon I took off down the side trail and went to my sweet spot by the river.  I crossed it to the other side and there found a trio of cedar trees in the middle of which was a perfect little bench seat log.  This is my new ritual spot.  I got a stick and cast a circle in my witchy way.  I summoned the Goddess and then I began.  I felt so much better doing it this time.  Much more relaxed and less worried about being caught.   I undressed and stood naked and bound and alone in the green quiet of the forest.  What a sexy sight it would have been had anybody seen.  I imagined you right there with me, encouraging me, witnessing, being so tuned in to me and so turned on.  The moment I emptied my full to the brim cup of blood, into my hands, and just before I was about to anoint myself, I felt that same moment of having my breath taken away as I did before.  I was about to pour this warm life giving blood all over me, there is something about doing this that feels ancient, dark, sacred, edgy and primal.   I felt much joy and ease with what I was doing and then I heard a hummingbird near and it made me smile.  I marvelled in the bright color of crimson red all over my legs, belly, arms.  I smeared it on my face.  I imagined you, I rubbed my clit on an exposed part of root but it wasn’t that smooth so I grabbed the stick I had peeled and cast my circle with and I used it to pleasure myself instead of my hands.  I was totally wet and aroused but I felt afraid to make noise for fear of being heard.  I then felt like untying my rope and it felt so freeing to be released, unbound and free, naked and wild in the woods and covered in my womb blood.  I used my true “magic wand” until I came into higher state of arousal.  I was showing you.  You were right there watching.  Then I arched my back over the log and laid back.   I imagined how beautiful it must have looked, I felt beautiful, dark and mystical.  I came with an intense and silent orgasm convulsing in the forest with only her as my witness and the flies buzzing around me.   I took some time to admire the drying blood.  To take in my surroundings and to pray and ask for more guidance.  Afterwards I took delight in washing myself off and giving back my blood to the earth at the place I had made at my feet.  Then I sat and listened.

Earth energy that rises, heavenly power that descends.

Meeting in my heart to heal and mend, that which keeps me from being me, she is here now for the world to see.  

I finished up, got dressed and closed my circle again, then I crossed the river back and walked to the main trail, I felt lighter, brighter, softer and more beautiful.  I walked slower, thinking about the real source of my power, about the divine feminine to which I am re-uniting within me and about cougar energy when all of the sudden a big beautiful owl flew right over my head!!  She landed in the tree right behind me. I stopped and turned and she turned her head and looked at me and I felt blessed.  I am always honoured by the confirmations the Universe gives me when I am walking in my truth.  It has always been so.  I am thankful for this moment.  

xxx dirty little girl

Blood Rites

Today was fraught with a lot of anxiety over this assignment even thought I was SO excited by the whole notion of it.  It had been a busy and stressful day with hardly any time at all for me to prepare let alone carve out an hour to so to do it and the next day was going to be even busier plus I knew my bleeding would be slower so it didn’t feel right to do it then.  You asked me to do this ritual when my bleeding was at its heaviest so it was today or wait another month and I was determined to not have to wait, I was impatient.  I thought of a spot I had been to before in the forest at a local park.  There was a huge fallen tree that I could walk along and find a spot to lie and sit on but when I arrived I saw that this tree was a lot closer to the trail than I had remembered.  I would have been total visible to people on the trail and there were people there this evening when I arrived not far from where I was.  I scouted around, not sure where to go, I found another seemingly great spot but then I saw a different trail up on the ridge above me which I didn’t know was there.  Dam!  I then heard a group of people coming from up in that direction.  I was beginning to have my doubts if I could pull this off, plus I was holding 50 Ft of tangled rope I still had to deal with.  Walking around I finally saw a nice big tree that I could sit at the base of.  It was only 50 feet off the main trail but hidden from trail  above.   I felt a bit desperate to find a place and get going before it was too late. Sitting around the back of the tree I was mostly hidden from view but if anyone walked off the trail a bit I would have been easily visible.  That and the fact that I was expected to pick up my son in a little under an hour added to my erotic tension. Could I actually pull this off?  I was feeling unsure.   I had my rope to tie around my body as a symbolic gesture of the mental stories that hold me back from being my most radiant self. Knowing that particular tie you showed me wasn’t mandatory alleviated me of some pressure.  I vowed to learn it and use it another time instead.  Once I knew that I could use the rope how I saw fit, it was go time!!!  I felt resistance to getting naked as I was so vulnerable to being seen here.  I made a plan in my mind for how to deal with that if it happened.   How I could get covered quickly and how no one would know it was blood.    Is this resistance or just shame I am feeling for what I am about to do?  

I stood up, undressed and then tied myself up.  I felt as if I had to do things quickly.  I took my menstrual cup out It was full to the brim and then I dumped it all out into my hands. At this point, I felt afraid for a split second and then I had to do it, it happened fast.  I covered my face, neck, chest, belly, legs and then feet.  As soon as it was done, it took my breath away.  I took a picture right away.  I can’t believe I am doing this, in public, in the woods!!! Oh my great goddess look at me!!!!!

I loved the sight of how dark my blood was.  I loved the warmth of it on my skin.  I wish I had more, cups and cups full to cover myself in.  I had it all over me,  I remembered to taste it, i

t tasted sweet.

I remembered to take a picture.  I took several and I got caught up in being able to see what I looked like, all crimson red and tied in rope at the base of a big tree.   My phone now had blood all over it too.  I kept looking around the tree, no one there.  More pictures, more sitting.  I listened to the rain coming gently down. I relaxed more then.  This all seemed so normal to me all of the sudden,  being outside, in amongst the green alive things.  Being naked there, with blood smeared all over me.  Even being tied up with a rope.  All this was perfectly natural, the only challenge was feeling rushed and slightly worried people would come.  I began to touch myself, my legs spread open.  I felt my wetness, my blood, I felt a little cold being naked in the rain at 6:30 at night.  I decided to break a small twig off the bush in front of me, I rubbed my clit with that instead like you asked No hands to masturbate, use something else.  I felt juicy but I did not get as aroused as I thought I could have or should have probably because of time pressure and being cold.  

When the blood was dried it felt smooth  and soft on my skin.  I had no desire to take it off of me.  In fact, I was resentful that I had to finish this assignment and leave in short order.  I wanted to sit there, back up against this sturdy soft tree forever.  But time was calling me on, so I looked at my notes.  I had to remember all the instructions because I am your good DLG and that is what I do.  I sent you the pics, you responded but I am not sure how it made you feel.  I noticed a slight feeling that maybe you were not pleased, maybe this was boring for you.  Fucking thoughts.  I notice a thought that I may be failing this assignment.  I may be failing you.  Maybe I am not as good a submissive as your others are.   Maybe if I was single with no young children and didn’t have so many responsibilities I would be more desirable and more able to be a better dirty little girl for you.   I felt a little wave of sadness to be so far away from you, to not know how you really feel receiving these pictures.  I am ashamed to admit having those thoughts but there they are.  I do not want to ever hide anything from you.  

Now it is time for the ritual.  I put my hands in prayer at my heart and summon her, the Great Mother, the only one for me.  I know her, she knows me.  It is not a stretch for me to call upon her.  I invite her to witness me, covered in blood sitting upon her lap in surrender.  I pray for her help.  Help me to release all the negative thoughts I have and carry about myself that keep me from being all that I am in this world.  Show me, tell me what to do to release the shackles of my mind that have kept me so bound.  I sit with eyes closed, hand to heart and this is what came…..

Go within, the answer lies there.  You already know because you know well who you are. You have never forgotten.  You need to go and do this ritual over again next month, much slower, more relaxed and in a different location.  You must find your own sacred spot that you will go to from now on to do your rituals.  Your own sacred, secret spot.  You must ritualize your blood every moon from now until the time when you no longer bleed and become a crone.  For many months you have forgotten.  It is time again for you to do this.  You must talk about what you are doing to others.  You must share the wisdom you usually keep quiet and hidden.  You must write about it and tell other women.   Men want to know too, they will learn.  Stay with the one who sent you here, he will help you.  Mix your blood with water and nourish the Earth like you used to.  This is the life giving blood that will heal. Summon protection around your home with your blood like you used to.  Mark your territory with your blood.  Come back again, you know I am always with you.   

I do not want to get up but feel I should.  I untie my ropes and let them fall to the ground as a symbolic gesture of release from my mental slavery. The spell is broken.  I now give my offering to my Mother.  I dig a shallow hole in the ground under me.  I pee into it and let my blood come out too.  I take a cloth with warm water that I brought and wipe all my blood off then ring out the cloth with the water and blood into the hole.  I take some more blood from my inside of me and mark it on the tree behind me.  I press my third eye into it to give thanks to the tree.  This is all I have, my naked body, my prayers, my blood and my truth.  I thank you daddy, I thank you Great Mother, I thank me.  It is done.  My parting thoughts are this…..

I can’t wait until next month, to do this again.  Even better, even deeper will I dive into the mystery of my blood and give so much thanks for the cycles of my life, for the cycles of the seasons and of this life and for being a woman.  I give so much thanks for the fluids of my body, for it’s wisdom, for it’s longing, for it’s mysteries and its beauty.  

I love you so much daddy.  I hope and pray often that I can be as much to you as you are to me.  

That is my greatest wish, to love you so deeply, so fully and so well.  

your very own, dirty little girl

xoxo

The Do-over

I have been anxious to re-do this assignment for you since I didn’t complete the first one.  You asked for three ejaculating orgasms in three places I have never masturbated before, within 24 hrs.  I feel so determined to be a good dirty little girl for you.  Nothing will get in my way of completing this.  

This morning, after I dropped kids off to school, I came home and went into my launrdry room, the only place in my home I have not had an orgasm yet.  I was feeling excited to do this for you today Daddy.  I was still feeling juicy from my weekend and feeling very connected to my ejaculate, my amrita, my sacred, beautiful and tasty fluids.  It didn’t  take me long at all to complete this assignment. I pulled my long green cotton skirt down around my ankles and started to rub my clit, I was dripping wet and relaxed and ready. I was totally aroused and within minutes, I came very quickly. I hadn't even given thought about putting a towel or something down on the floor so I had a whole lot of fluid all over the bottom of my skirt. Part one, done.  I struggled with taking the pictures as I usually do.  I have a hard time taking pics of myself.  I think they all suck.  I wanted to show you how much fluid came out all over my skirt.  I forgot that I was letting my pubic hair grow our which I have not done in a very long time and I have mixed feelings about. I know that is silly but it is true. After I sent the picture I regretted not cropping it out but I knew you would rather have me as I am,  with no editing so I let it go.  I want to take really hot, sexy photos for you and to do this, I need to take more time.  I felt unsure of whether this would please you or turn you on which feels important to me because still long to be your very best dirty little sub girl ever.  

A few hours later I took a walk with my dog at the river right near my house.  I felt good walking along in my skirt and boots, no panties,  and I found a little trail with a spot of sun.  As soon as I got off the main path I imagined you there, walking in silence with me, leading me down the path with one hand firmly on my shoulder directing me where you wanted me to go.  I was following your energy, your direction,  and then your words.  You said, "slow down, your walking too fast.  Feel your lips and cunt as your thighs move when you walk".   I did this.  After I found my spot, I sat down on a wet mossy log and  I spread my legs open wide,  I imagined you across the river bank watching from a short distance like the day we were at the park on the rocks.  You watched as I played with my cunt you with your cock in your hand.  I was wet and juicy sliding one finger along the length of my entire vulva, sliding up and down my clit and then plunging my finger in.  I used the energy of the water, the flow of the river and the goodess to guide me into releasing my fluids again.  Oh how I have been learning to embrace these holy waters. I remember when we first met, how you encouraged me to let it go and how resistant I was to do it. I began fucking myself with the other hand, two finders thrusting fast and hard deep into myself.  I felt like such a dirty slut in the woods, in public touching myself again.  I snapped some pictures for you, then let myself go, more ejaculate releasing into the earth.  I shook and trembled with pleasure once again feeling so grateful for how juicy I am, how ready my cunt always is to be fucked and loved and paid attention to and how orgasmic I can be especially when I think about you.  I am not sure where my third time will be.  I have no more private spaces to fuck myself, they have all been used.  I have to find a space in public again.

Third time…..I had a plan all worked out.  I have been wanting to dress up in my slut gear and take photos.   I had a place all picked out to go to this early morning and do that but my plan had to change because I had to go to doctor at the last minute at 7:30 am this morning.  I didn’t know when I would be back and if I would have time before I started work today to complete my assignment, it made me anxious so I awoke at 5am before everyone was awake in my house.  I slipped outside to my back yard with a blanket wrapped around me.  It was pitch black and cold but so sweet to be under the stars, getting naked and playing with myself and my sexual energy.  Again, I was wet already, but it took me longer to bring myself to full arousal.  I was distracted by thoughts, I felt worried I wouldn’t complete this assignment, worried someone would wake up and my plan would be ruined and I would have to do it all again for you.  I thought of you, I thought of being with you and other men together. I thought of your verbal direction, telling me to come at once for daddy, like a good little girl. I thought of a woman licking my cunt.  I stopped to take a few pictures, I resumed and quickly came into more full arousal and had an orgasm before I got a chance to stimulate my G area enough to ejaculate. I greeted the day with my legs spread wide, with a smile on my cunt and on my face and a warmth in my heart for you.  I went inside and within two minutes my son was awake and I was grateful I had got it done in time.  

Love as always,

Your dirty little girl

xxx