A talk

Tomorrow is the day we are going to reevaluate our relationship again.  I am both afraid and excited.  This past year has been a huge year of change, of emotional ups and downs and reworking of my own primary partnership and marriage, my relationship to you daddy,  my relationship to this polyamorous, open lifestyle I have created and to my life in general.  A lot has been unearthed.  I had to tear down all that was not working, not growing well.  The soil has been upturned and now the time comes to see what wants to grow.  It is inevitable that things may change with you and I daddy but I don't want them to, I am resistant to that.  You have become such an incredible part of my life, not just as daddy but as a great friend, a support, a lover and one who understands me deeply as I do you.  I can't imagine my life without you in it now.  Let change come if it must and it will,  but let the change be one that allows a continued growth and evolvement of us.  Let us keep inspiring each other towards our greatness and our deep commitment to our erotic, sexual and sensual lives.  I honour that you are also going through changes of your own, tending to a new primary relationship in your life.  Where do I fit in for you?  What are your deepest desires? How can we move towards manifesting all that we both want in this life?  If I could have my way, we would always have this D/s arrangement but I would be a more regular and physical part of your life so I could love and serve you the way I have always truly wanted as your dirty little girl.    I suppose we would live closer to each other, at least part of the year to make that happen.   I have always thought there was so much potential with us.  I am afraid this long distance thing is to hard to carry out, it seems so limiting in ways.  I want to be unlimited with you.  I want to freely express and explore everything with you.  I want to open my heart to love you, touch you and please you as fully as I can.   I don't know what tomorrow will bring.  I am afraid you will say no to us.  I am afraid you will say it is not working for you to be this far apart, to be my daddy anymore, when we only see each other once or twice a year.   I am afraid there is just not enough of a mutual give and take for you to get what you truly need and for it to sustain itself this way.  I am afraid of losing something but I know that is just my limited way of thinking, that there is no lack, there is nothing to lose ever.   There is only our own truth and always a moving towards the great love that is within us.  I will speak with you tomorrow.  I wonder what your thoughts are.  I have a bittersweet taste in my mouth already, as if I am going to have to grieve some inevitable loss my heart will feel the sorrow of.
Until tomorrow
xxx
dlg